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User blog:Jella141/Socrates vs Jaden Smith - Historical Epic Rap Battles Off-Season
Socrates vs Jaden Smith is the third installment of Historical Epic Rap Battles - Off-Season. It features American actor and rapper, Jaden Smith, rapping against classical Greek philosopher, Socrates, to see whose words are the wisest. Intro Battle 'Jaden Smith:' (Beat starts at 0:21) The Jaden Puts Forth Mayhem In A Bayhem Of Explosive Wits! I Was Born A Lyrical Word-Smith! You Come Half-Stripped With Saggy Tits! I'm Chic! This Antique Greek Ain't On Fleek! I Bet His Flow's Also Weak! What You Got Under That Bed Sheet? Perhaps A Pasty Ass With Flabby Cheeks! So Here's A Little Critique: You Gotta Stop Being Pissed And Learn To Be Meek! I'll Whip You Like My Sister's Hair! Leave You Sore For Over A Week! I'm A Licensed Karate Kid! The Toughest Dude On The Cali Streets! Call These Bars A Sip Of Poison Hemlock: Just One Taste Equals Your Defeat! 'Socrates:' (0:50) Your career's heading nowhere! I, for one, actually contributed to society! You said it yourself: "I'll be gone in ten years." You're already expiring! I'm glad you brought up sheets; didn't you sport one to a wedding? You look like a mix of Bob Marley and a little boy who's still bedwetting! While you capitalize more words than you can spell, I get wisdom off my chest! On The Pursuit of Happyness? Not living up to your father must make you depressed! I'd call your acting mediocre, but you'd still somehow think you're the best! The Earth Stood Still and stared The Day Jaden chose to wear a dress! 'Savage Superior:' (1:18) Please, my children. There is no need for all this fighting. If you want to take your anger out, strike Adam Sandler with a bolt of lightning. It sure is frightening to think I've been gone for so long, but I still watch over you. Oh, no. I'm not a stalker. If you had one, I'd beat them up for you. I admit it: I like sex, but I am not a rapist nor a pervert. The only ass I'll kiss is a girl's if she lifts up her skirt. I've already submitted six lines in this battle in the same minute. I don't think this is spam. Do you think this is spam? Not everybody knows who Batman is. Guess what? I am. 'Batman:' (1:47) Not true. When I'm through, not even your creepy smile will be left. We all know you're DWAS, so let's just put the speculation to rest. I'm the best. I'm Batman. You're blocked, man. Eat a dick. Your head's thick. That's why you always say the most ridiculous shit. I kick punks like you in the groin. No one wants to hear your songs, Sonny. You think I care about you? I'm Bruce Wayne. All I give a shit about is money. Jaden thinks he's funny? I bet he still suckles the nips of his mommy. You oughta ease up, Socrates, and tuck away that wrinkly salami. [Just when they thought it was over, another figure enters the arena, and his name… and his name… AND HIS NAME IS] 'John Cena:' (2:22) NOW YOU SEE ME! NOW YOU DON'T! HERE'S MY HAND! HERE'S YOUR THROAT! WAIT, THIS ISN'T ONE OF JELLA'S CRAP BATTLES? THEN I'M OUT TO GO BANG SOME HOES! Epilogue 'Jaden Smith:' That Was Odd. 'Socrates:' Indeed. 'Jaden Smith:' We Cool? 'Socrates:' Yeah, dude. Pass the weed. Outro Poll Who Won? Jaden Smith Socrates Savage Superior Batman John Cena Category:Blog posts